Parents who are thinking about getting divorced will often be nervous about the decision because of the kids. Even if they have a very good reason to split up, they still won’t be sure if they should do it because they don’t want to negatively impact the children.
To really look into this, a few children of divorced parents were asked what they thought after they’d grown up. Their responses were eye-opening.
One child wanted her parents to know that she didn’t think they’d failed in their role. They were both still great parents, even though they weren’t married, and she said they were both there for her in all the ways she needed.
Another person said he wished his father had worked harder to be involved in his life. He lived with his mother, who remarried, and barely saw his father growing up. Parents need to be aware that it may take work to stay involved, but it’s worth it because it’s so important to the children.
Similarly, another woman said it was crucial for her parents to learn to co-exist after the split. This is hard for parents, in some cases, when there is a lot of anger and sorrow during the divorce. They may want nothing to do with one another. If they have kids, though, they need to find a way to get along well enough that they can both help give the kids the upbringing they deserve.
As you can see, an effective child custody arrangement, according to the kids themselves, is one in which both parents are still involved. Keep this in mind when agreeing on yours.
Source: Huffington Post, “8 Things Kids Of Divorce Want Parents To Know,” Brittany Wong, accessed Nov. 11, 2016